How to be a Feminist Queen on your Wedding Day
Tell me if you’ve lived this story. Ever since you were a little girl, you were told that one day you would get married, have a fairy tale wedding and be whisked off your feet by a handsome prince.
But, in this era of modern female empowerment, can we buy into that narrative anymore? Less of us are opting to be given away at our wedding by our fathers; less of us are taking our spouses’ last name; and more of us want to celebrate a true partnership of equals and not the transactional history of marriage.
As me and my best pals would say “YES QUEEN!”
Believe it or not, feminism has its place in modern weddings. I even believe that you can honor the traditions of a marriage ceremony while incorporating a conscious
perspective on those traditions. So, don’t be a princess at your wedding; be a fierce queen – like HRM Queen Elizabeth, or Beyonce! Here is how you do it:
1. Honor the Women in your Life, and in your Wedding
There are lots of ways to feature the awesome women who helped you get where you are today. It can be as simple as letting your bridesmaids pick their gowns, to featuring your feminist sheroes as table numbers! “I’m sitting at Ruth Bader Ginsburg - table 5” “No way! I’m at Marie Curie - table 7”
2. Use Feminine Symbols in your Décor
Flowers are the number one symbol for the feminine – my years in my college’s art history says so. You can choose to take it further and incorporate flowers that represent important women in your life.
My mother grows the loveliest lily of the valley in her garden, so I found some nice lily of the valley perfume to wear on my wedding day. It’s also royal tradition to have Myrtle greenery in a wedding bouquet, and since HRM is my style icon, I am going to use some in mine.
3. Wear Whatever you Want!
While a white dress is still the norm in modern weddings, don’t feel pigeonholed. Being a Queen means doing what you want and making a statement. What’s more empowering than wearing a crown? Or a red dress? Or a suit! Wearing something unexpected can make a big statement about you and your approach to these nuptials.
4. Make Deliberate Choices
Weddings are steeped in some questionable traditions, but it doesn’t mean you have to let go of them all. Make choices for your wedding that you and your partner want because they matter to you. Want your dad to walk you down the aisle? We are here for it! Want to throw the bouquet? Work it girl! Whether you want to follow tradition, adapt it or scrap it – know that you own your decisions.
5. Consult with your Advisers
Even the most badass Queens have help. Rely on your circle of friends for support and ask them for advice on some of the bigger big day calls. They can also have your back when the inevitable wedding drama hits the fan. Trust your squad!
Remember, you rule! So be the Queen we know you are and seize your wedding day in your own way. And as always, don’t worry, you got this!